


Once A Mother, Always A Mother

by Wiccan507



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little angst, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Dialogue Heavy, Gabriel/Sam Winchester if you squint, M/M, No John Winchester, POV Mary Winchester, Pining Dean/Castiel, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:18:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6824719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiccan507/pseuds/Wiccan507
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The progression of Dean and Castiel's relationship through Mary Winchesters eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once A Mother, Always A Mother

**Eight and Ten Years Old**

"You're a weenie."

"Mrs Winchester! Dean called me a weenie!"

"Dean, be nice to Castiel. They are our guests."

"They're our guests every year but he spends more time here than I do!"

"That's because he's Sam's best friend."

"But he's a weenie!"

"No one's asking you to talk to me, Dean."

"Wrong! My mom said I needed to speak with you!"

"Well, my mom said I have to stop calling you a big baby, but I didn't listen to her!" With that, Castiel punched Dean in the arm and ran off to find Sam.

"I hate that kid."

"Dean, sweetie, you're only two years older than him."

"Two years smarter, though, mom."

"Play with Gabriel."

"He's playing with Sam," he said, petulant.

"Then play with both of them."

"Fine, but only because there better than Cas."

  
**Twelve and Fourteen Years Old**

"Sam! Where the hell is my bag?" Dean stormed around the kitchen, opening up all of the cupboards stretching up and bending down to look at them.

"Dean, be nice to your brother." Her oldest son straightened up to look at her, and he opened his eyes as wide as they would go. Probably an attempt at Sams puppy dog eyes, not that it worked for either of them.

"He hid my bag!" She looked over at where Sam lounged in the living room, his feet up on the table, Gabriel tucked in on one side of him and Castiel laid across most of the couch on the other side.

"Sam, give your brother his bag back."

"I didn't take it; Cas did." Castiel raised his hand in acknowledgement, and she couldn't help the sigh that left her mouth. How Castiel got along so well with one of her sons but not the other, she would never know. It probably hadn't helped that the first time they'd met Dean had pushed Castiel in a mud puddle.

"Castiel, tell Dean where you hid his bag."

"Somewhere he'd never go!" This wasn't going to end well for her furniture.

"Dean, your bag is in the tree house." As expected her son stormed into the living room and jumped on Sams best friend. Castiel yelped at the sudden weight, but, as usual, fought back against the older boy. It was like this almost every day, Castiel just loved to wind her son up, and her son always rose to the bait. Sam didn't even bat an eye as they fought right next to him; he just pushed the coffee table further away with his feet as the boys fell to the floor.

"Go and get my bag you jerk."

"Why don't you get it yourself, ass butt?"

"Because you put it up there."

"Or, maybe because you're afraid of heights and too chicken to admit it?" Dean pushed down on Castiel's stomach with his knee and Mary saw it coming before her son did, but he hadn't listened to her in years, so she knew he wasn't about to now. Castiel drew back his arm and punched Dean in the crotch. This wasn't the first time it had happened, and it wouldn't be the last; she hoped that one day her son would learn.

  
**Sixteen and Eighteen Years Old**

"Your life is going to be so boring without me."

"Oh, please. It'll be a relief when you're gone." She wasn't one to eavesdrop, but right now this was just something she couldn't intrude on. Castiel and Dean rarely had a quiet moment between them choosing to fight everything out instead. So, whenever they had a moment she tended to stay out of the way. A hand on her shoulder almost forced her to give away her position, but she managed to keep her calm. Sam pressed against her shoulder and kept his voice quiet as he spoke.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting till your brother and Cas leave the kitchen."

"You mean you're spying on them."

"No, I wou-"

"Mom, it's cool. I do it too." They turned their attention back to the kitchen and tried to figure out how much they had missed off the conversation.

"You better look after Sam while I'm gone."

"You're not going to war, Dean. Just college."

"Yeah, well."

"You don't have to pretend you're not scared. It's perfectly normal."

"Try telling me that in two years."

"I'm excited about college."

"Well, you're kind of a weenie." Mary could practically see the smile that would go with that name in her mind. It was the one that Castiel only ever seemed to receive.

"You haven't called me that in years."

"Pretty sure I called you it a few weeks ago."

"Okay, you haven't done it to my face in years."

"That's more accurate." The kitchen went quiet, and Mary had to peak her head around the corner to make sure they hadn't left the room. Sams' head was right below hers. They watched as Dean made himself a sandwich and Castiel leant against the counter just watching him.

"It'll be quiet without you."

"Is that your way of saying you'll miss me, Cas?"

"It's my way of saying, it will be quiet without you." They quickly ducked back around the corner as Castiel pushed off of the counter and left Dean alone in the kitchen.

"It's about as close as we'll get to them being nice to each other."

"I don't know; I think there might be more for them in the future."

"Mom, do you know something I don't?"

"No. I see the same as you."

  
**Eighteen and Twenty Years Old**

When Dean brought his first boyfriend, Jeremiah, home, Mary had only been surprised that her son was dating someone that wasn't a certain blue eyed boy. Her son had walked through the door the week before Christmas with a good looking young man behind him. With the arrival of Dean, she had assumed that Castiel wouldn't have been far behind, but only Gabriel had shown up that day. After three days Dean finally asked about him.

"So, where's Cas? You guys break up." Dean kicked Sams chair to make sure Sam knew who he was directing the question too.

"Yes, Dean, good one. Cas and I are boyfriends."

"I don't know what you two do in your bedroom."

"We hang out. Like you and Gabe."

"Alright, still doesn't answer my question, though."

"He's not well."

"He dying?"

"What? No!"

"Then why isn't he here? I've seen that kid on his death bed and still hang around here. That's how we all got sick four years ago."

"He's just really sick, Dean. He'll be here for Christmas."

"Who's Castiel?" They all turned their attention to Jeremiah, who just looked confused by the entire conversation. In all fairness to the boy she'd completely forgotten, he was there, and she suspects her sons had done the same.

"He's m- Sam's best friend. Since, 1st grade. Known the kid all my life."

"That's cool. I don't know many people that have had lifelong friends."

"Dean was an ass to him, though, the first time they met, he pushed Cas in a mud puddle and laughed at him."

"He said I had a big head and how is this any different to you and Gabe? The first time you two met, he stuck gum in your hair."

"You do have a big head, Cas was telling the truth. And because Gabe and I didn't spend years fighting like children, we get along, in case you didn't notice we go to the movies and dinner like every week."

"Oh, whatever and I was telling the truth when I said he belonged in a mud puddle."

"You can't be serious, Dean."

"It's not like I hurt him. Besides, he's hurt me plenty over the years. Whenever we fought, he always went for the crotch shot."

"That's because you always put your knee on his chest. It was your fault if you didn't want to be punched in the crotch you shouldn't have left his arm free."

"He's right, you know, you shouldn't have left my arm free." Mary has never seen her son move as fast as he did at that moment. His whole body snapped around to look at Castiel as he no doubt leant against the door frame. After weeks of coming home to find Castiel sitting on her porch, when he was thirteen, she had caved and given him a key to the house. She wasn't entirely sure what Castiel was doing here, Sam had told her how sick he'd been, but she should have known he'd show up once Dean had. Speaking of, Mary glanced at her son, and it almost broke her heart to see the look on his face, to see the very same smile reserved for Castiel. One she hadn't seen Jeremiah be on the receiving end off. One look at Jeremiah, and she knew he'd never seen it either.

"Cas." It wasn't difficult for her to see him work out what she had known for some time, what she suspected Sam knew as well if his looks were anything to go by. If Mary had known Jeremiah longer, she might have hugged him, but she doubted that she'd ever meet him again.

  
**Twenty-Two and Twenty-Four Years Old**

Having a house to herself was not as fun as people made it out to be. Living alone did have its upsides, but for the most part, she missed everything the house used to have. The sounds of Sam and Dean arguing over who's turn it was to choose the movie, watching them play outside while she cooked dinner, listening to Castiel and Dean fight over the same thing. Even adjusting to cooking for one person had been difficult, everything she made was for at least three people, and she always had so much food left over. Even after a year, she didn't feel any closer to being used to being alone. There was a knock on her door before someone was letting themselves in.

"Mom?"

"In here, Dean." A kiss was pressed to her temple, and she smiled at her son as he took a seat beside her.

"How are you?"

"Dean, somehow I don't think you drove two hours to ask me how I am."

"Can't I ask first and then tell you my problem."

"Fine, I am well. How are you, Dean?"

"I'm great, So, Cas told me he loved me."

"What?"

"It's crazy, right. Like, crazy. I mean he's Sammy's best friend. He's like a second brother, I've known the kid my whole life, he doesn't need me holding him back. It's insane." Dean pushed back from the table and started to pace around her kitchen. It shocked her how much he looked like his father, John. Her husband had always been so sure of himself, confident in everything he did, but when something baffled him, he'd pace.

"Dean, have you ever thought of Castiel as your brother?"

"Well, no, but that doesn't mean anything. He's just a kid."

"He's twenty-two Dean. Only two years younger than you."

"I know, but I've always felt like I should protect him, you know. Like I do with Sam."

"In what ways do you need to protect Castiel?"

"Well, there was last year!"

"Last year?"

"That girl he was dating. Lynette, she was awful to him. You know she asked me to stop being his friend, like what the hell. And then there was Grant, what a bitch. He hit Cas, remember."

"I remember him punching him in the shoulder and Castiel laughing, and I also remember you proceeding to punch Grant in the face."

"He never hit Cas again, so my job was done."

"Dean, the boy never came back. He was too afraid of you."

"That means nothing. He shouldn't have hurt him."

"Dean, sweetie, have you ever thought that perhaps you were just jealous?"

"Jealous! Of what?"

"That you weren't the one with Castiel."

"I do not want to be with Cas. Cas and I, not going to happen. I don't feel that way for him. He's dorky and weird, and he likes guinea pigs far too much. The guy can't even cook for himself; I have to make things and take them to him when I don't even like cooking. Not to mention his obsession with saving the planet. He comes to my house and forces me to recycle."

"Oh my, what a nightmare your life must be."

"You don't understand, mom."

"You're right, I don't understand at all." She watched her son as he walked around her kitchen and knew that this wasn't something she could ever make him see. It pained her to watch Dean deny it so vehemently, but she had faith that her son would realize what he wanted eventually. She just hoped that Castiel was willing to wait that long.

  
**Twenty-Six and Twenty-Eight Years Old**

Her birthday wasn't something she usually made a big deal off, but this year the boys had insisted on doing something more for her. Apparently, turning fifty was something they thought she should remember. Sam had flown in from California with Gabriel a few days before, Castiel wouldn't be leaving New York for two more days, and Dean was driving down from Chicago on his own. She was so incredibly proud of all of her boys.

Sam and Gabriel, strangely, had done everything together for the past few years. They both went to Stanford to study Law and had moved in together shortly after. Now, they worked for the same law firm in San-Francisco, she supposed it was easier to be with someone you knew. They'd never had to go somewhere and know they didn't know anyone.

Castiel was attending medical school in New York and hadn't been home since he'd started. Dean had had a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. After college, he'd gone through a lot of different jobs before finding out what he really wanted to do, and that was work for the fire department.

"Any word from your brother?"

"He said he's a couple of hours out."

"And Castiel?"

"He's got his shift tonight and then he's gotta pack, but he should be here on time."

"How are they?"

"They're good."

"Sam, I know I'm your mother, and you don't want to tell me all the drama, but do not lie to me."

"Sorry, mom. Honestly, they're okay, though. It's been four years if they weren't okay now I'd have to beat them both up." He smiled at her and turned to leave the kitchen, but she had to know.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Dean came to me after Castiel told him how he felt, he never actually told me what happened after."

"Mom, shouldn't you ask Dean or Cas about it."

"Sam, please."

"Cas had a lot of choices for med school; he told Dean that he loved him because if Dean loved him too then, he was gonna stay with Dean. When Dean got back, he and Cas got into this huge fight because Dean said that Cas's choice shouldn't have been based on him. Next thing I knew Dean was taking a job in Washington as an engineer and Cas packed up his stuff for New York. I know I'm missing something, but I never found out what it was."

"Thank you for telling me."

The days passed quickly and before she knew it her house was filled with her family and closest friends. The boys had all chipped in to buy her and her best friend, Jody Mills, a week trip on a relaxation cruise. Bobby and Ellen had gifted her with a new gun; Jody was quick to check it was legal despite Bobby's protests. Thankfully, everything was in order; they hardly needed the debacle of her twenty-fifth birthday happening again. Rufus had handed her a bottle of whisky then found his way to the couch and Jo had turned up with a bag of new clothes for her. Of course, the presents were completely unnecessary, she would have just been happy to have her family all in one place again.

The party was in full swing when she almost walked in on Dean and Castiel in the kitchen. It was like looking into an entirely different house, her living-room was loud with laughter, music, and talking while her kitchen was cold and awkward. The boys were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen resolutely ignoring each other. Come on you idiots, someone say something, talk to the damn bread if you have to, but say something.

"I miss you." Well, she hadn't expected Dean to be the one to speak first.

"What?"

"Everyday. I miss you."

"You told me to leave."

"I know."

"You didn't want me in your life."

"That's not true. I- I wasn't worth your career, Cas. I couldn't let you build your future around me."

"You didn't get to decide that, Dean. It was my decision!"

"You're wrong. I did get to decide that. It was your career, and that was all you, but I got to choose whether or not I was going to be the one that held you back."

"You wouldn't-"

"Cut the crap, Cas. You and I both know I would have. New York was your best offer, and you wanted to say no, for me. I had no idea what I was doing with my life; I've spent the past four years going all over the country finding out what I was good at Cas. I couldn't have done that if I hadn't walked away from you."

"I could have come with you."

"No, you couldn't. You needed to be in one place for med school, and I needed to find out what I wanted to do. Look, Cas, walking away that day was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was the best choice for both of us." The noise in the living-room increased and she barely heard Castiel's whispered "Dean."

"We should get back to the party. You bring the cake, and I'll turn out the lights." Oh, Dean, she loved her boys more than anything, but sometimes they were so damn stubborn. She knew Dean hated talking about his feelings, after this conversation he'd probably close himself off for about a month to make up for it. She stepped into the kitchen as Dean left through the other door.

"Castiel, are you alright?"

"I'm good. Are you enjoying yo- your birthday?" Any other day she would have pretended she hadn't heard his voice break, as she knew that he preferred talking about it in his own time, but she couldn't do that today.

"Castiel, look at me." Never one to ignore her requests he wiped a hand over his face and turned to look at her. "Oh, Castiel." She moved forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, his coming up around her waist and his face burying in her neck. Her boys had all outgrown her by high school, well all except Gabriel, but at this moment Castiel seemed a lot like the little boy that hugged her when he scraped his knee. "Don't give up on him."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Your situations, they're not the same they were four years ago. Dean is just as stubborn as his father was, but Deans' heart is so much bigger. I've seen him give up a lot over the years, whether it was things for himself because we couldn't afford it, or the summers he worked so I could send Sam to camp with you, and so many other things. I think I can say, though, that giving up you took the biggest toll on him."

"He does fine without me."

"You know, when you told him you loved him, he came straight to me. Told me that it was crazy and that he'd hold you back. Well, it seems that all the reasons you aren't together they don't exist anymore."

"But they- they're- they don't exist. I've nearly finished med school. He has a job he loves and an apartment. They don't exist anymore."

"No, they don't. Maybe you should make Dean aware of that."

"Your cake."

"Dean getting his head out of his ass would be a much better gift. "

"Thank you."

"Go on, the sooner you get him, the sooner I can stop watching you both pine." Castiel pressed a kiss to her cheek and took off for the living-room. She grabbed her cake off of the table and carried it through to the living-room. As she scanned the room there was no sign of Dean or Castiel; she hoped they were off together and not separately brooding.

  
**Twenty-Eight and Thirty Years Old**  
  
She was spending the weekend in Chicago with her family, Dean was turning thirty, and they all felt it best to go to him for his birthday. She'd flown in on Thursday and had been sleeping in Dean's spare room since. She hadn't wanted to intrude on them, but they'd insisted.

Sam had decided that staying in a hotel was his best choice, whereas Gabriel was currently snoring away on the couch. Apparently, he was taking the peace and quiet while he could get it. Mary assumed he could hear him through the walls, for a small man, he could produce a lot of noise. As she entered the kitchen, she found Dean making scrambled eggs in the pyjamas she'd bought him last Christmas.

"Happy birthday, sweetie."

"Thanks, mom. Do you want breakfast?"

"Of course. You don't seem very excited."

"I'm thirty. Thirty."

"You have plenty to show for it. You have a dog, Impala, you have an actual Impala. Your own apartment, you've saved many lives with your job. You have a job-"

"I hope I'm going to be mentioned at some point."

"A boyfriend. An incredibly giving life-saving boyfriend."

"Complimenting me, because you forgot me, will not get you forgiven."

"Castiel, darling, I have known you your whole life, I would never forget you. I was merely saving the best for last."

"Okay, you can be forgiven."

"Of course, I can, because if not then I'd have to stop sending those apple pies."

"Mom, no. Don't joke about the pie. Cas, apologize."

"Hush, Dean." Her son focused back on his cooking, and she watched the boys move around each other in the kitchen. They looked relaxed, comforted by the presence of each other, exchanging small subconscious touches, and she knew they were happy. It was all something she used to share with John, and she missed it so much, missed him so much.

"Have I ever told you two how much I love you."

"All the time."

"Good, because I do, love you. You two, Sam and Gabriel all mean the world to me. Without you four, I would have been very lonely."

"Mom, you would never have been alone."

"I'm not looking for reassurance, Dean. I'm just saying, you four made my life fascinating and for that I'm grateful."

"Well, we had to keep you on your toes. You went from raising two boys to practically raising four. Who knows what sugar barrel Gabe would have been at the bottom at if it wasn't for you."

"Well, Castiel and Gabriels mother was a busy woman. She had a lot of things to worry about." Castiel smiled over at her and she rarely liked to talk badly about anyone, but she'd never understand how Naomi hadn't made the time for them.

"She tried her best, that's what matters," said Castiel.

Silence settled around the kitchen, Dean and Castiel continuing to make breakfast for everyone. An unusually large rumble came from the living-room and all of three of them snorted out laughs as they heard Gabriel wake himself up.

Fascinating, indeed.


End file.
